WEST UNION—After viewing a video of Joe Biden falling down the steps of Air Force One sophomore John Russell bravely stated his belief that Biden is not healthy enough to be President despite not believing in the existence of COVID.
“Bro, he’s gonna cough and like, die, and then hit his head on the nuke button. It’s not safe for the country, you know?” Russell commented after contacting the Fluke to share his views. “Anyway, Shoots tonight? Oh, the capacity? Agh…. what are they gonna do, count?”
Russell also shared that getting vaccinated would be futile, saying “If I was gonna get COVID I would have already. I think I have herd immunity by now. So like, why hurt my arm for no reason, you know? Or like… maybe it’s not even real though. Haha.”
At press time, Russell is also questioning the existence of tornados, due to the fact he’s never seen one himself.