DURHAM, NC—Trinity College of Arts & Sciences has announced that it will be offering a McKinsey Concentration under the newly-created Consulting Department starting next fall.
“We are very excited to enable students to sell out more efficiently than ever,” Jim Deloitte, Director of Undergraduate Studies commented. “This new concentration streamlines the process of giving up on your dreams to become a cog in the corporate machine.”
Students concentrating in McKinsey will take a deep dive into how companies can most successfully cut corners to maximize profits. Course offerings include Neoliberalism 101, Exploitation 205, and Union Busting 303.
“I can’t wait for the guest lecture from the CEO of Norfolk Southern,” Hannah B.A. Hamilton (Trinity ‘26) told the Fluke News, “He’s advising us on how to best circumvent safety measures to cut costs. It’s a shame about the whole train thingy, but it’s Ohio, so who really cares? They should’ve paid more attention to the trolley problem in my opinion, which is published weekly in The Chronicle.”
The Chair of the Consulting Department has also shared plans to create additional Boston Consulting Group and Bain concentrations in the near future, with an emphasis on trust fund usage. For now, these programs are holding trial runs for students whose parents already work at those firms.