DURHAM, NC — A new Duke Department of Psychology study showed that 81% of Duke undergraduates would prefer not to be shot by Cupid’s arrow of love but by a literal arrow.
In a survey, a whopping 437 students out of 540 stated their wish to be brought down by the airborne infant with his quiver filled with iron arrows. When reached for a comment, head researcher Rita Carnelli explained that “I never would have expected numbers this high. It wasn’t even an option—they wrote it in themselves. Now I have to spend the weekend giving all their netIDs to CAPS.”
Upon further analysis of the study, data showed the remaining 106 students wanted to be taken out by a gun this Valentine’s Day.