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Op-ed: If it stays unread it can't hurt me

PERKINS LIBRARY—As a woman in STEM who has yet to reach my pre-operational phase, I am confident that if I can’t see something, it simply doesn’t exist. That’s why I check my email as compulsively as a Euphoria character in second period, immediately marking every email I receive as read and without reading it and moving on with my life.

Duke needs to take action against this malicious email-sending practice. I have spent countless hours shaking and rocking and sobbing in Perkins Link after being tormented by the infernal chime of echoing across the room. This chilling harbinger of doom that descends upon my poor little Macbook Air brings nothing but anguish, despair, and quirky DSG updates.

Effective immediately, I demand Duke University eliminate electronic communication and return to the ethically moral form of communication: un-unionized, underpaid carrier pigeons.



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