“Socially liberal, fiscally conservative” student supports giving billions of dollars to police



CLEARWATER, FL—Sophomore John Schidt, who describes himself as “fiscally conservative and socially liberal,” recently described his support for giving American police departments billions of dollars ostensibly just to kill minorities.


In a lengthy Facebook rant, Schidt wrote that “you all know I’m a reasonable, liberally conservative American who is just as concerned about government spending and minority rights as you are. That’s why I reject calls to defund the police in the wake of their documented brutality, and instead think we should give police departments more money and hold them unaccountable for their actions. The only way they are going to get better is with a budget surplus monitored by no one.”


“Let’s just play devil’s advocate,” the Florida native added. “While I support minorities, what would our society look like if we just stopped giving billions of dollars to police departments to purchase tear gas and military-grade weaponry? What would private prisons be without innocent black men incarcerated in them? How would the economy function? ”


When asked by a commenter how his statements align with his political values, Schidt responded, “are you calling me racist? I have a black friend!”