Somebody tooted…



DURHAM, NC—This past week some little stinker let a little stinker slip out. Oopsie!


Bad smell, guys! My buddy asked me, “Who ripped ass?” and I was like “Wasn’t me,” but in that cool voice from the song. Then our friend Steve was all, “Sorry, I’m lactose intolerant,” but he didn’t do a cool voice or anything.


All over the place it was so yucky! Marketplace was affected! I went to get my food and there wasn’t as much and everyone was like, “gas leak” and I was like “is that what we’re calling them now?” Then later that night I went to get my coffee at Trinity Cafe, and they were all, “we still haven’t fixed the gas leak.” and I left but I was really confused because I didn’t think there was a cure for lactose intolerance.


I don’t really understand how Steve’s fart made all this happen, but I also don’t really understand what lactose intolerance is.


Get well soon, Steve. Get well soon.