The Fluke News Staff Jul 1 1 min Return to Normalcy: Known serial rapist’s conviction overturned for bullshit legal reason PENNSYLVANIA SUPREME COURT—With Bill Cosby’s 2018 convictions of sexual assault thrown out, Americans can sigh a collective breath of...
The Fluke News Staff Apr 13 1 min "Biden is not healthy enough to be president," says guy who doesn't believe in getting vaccinated WEST UNION—After viewing a video of Joe Biden falling down the steps of Air Force One sophomore John Russell bravely stated his belief...
The Fluke News Staff Apr 13 1 min J&J vaccine rollout paused after revealed to be just “No Tear, 2 in 1 Baby Shampoo and Conditioner” J&J HEADQUARTERS—The Fluke was recently able to receive special permission to visit one of the Johnson and Johnson vaccine factories. Our...
The Fluke News Staff Mar 31 1 min Breaking: Freed Suez Canal ship heads to Georgia for next voter blocking bill ATLANTA,GA—Inspired by the Evergreen ship’s ability to block the free flow of goods at the Suez Canal for days, the Georgian State...
The Fluke News Staff Mar 30 1 min After watching “MONTERO” video, this heterosexual, women-loving Cru member has faith crisis DURHAM, NC—Following a mention of the new Lil Nas X music video from his preacher, local cru member Jake had to see what all of the fuss...
The Fluke News Staff Mar 9 2 min Trump alludes to a third run—The Fluke predicts his mile time ORLANDO, FL—In his first public remarks since moving to Florida, Trump spoke at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. The...
The Fluke News Staff Mar 2 1 min Trump apologizes for divisive rhetoric, inciting riot at CPAC ORLANDO, FL.—In his first public appearance since departing the White House, former President Donald Trump took to the stage last night...
The Fluke News Staff Feb 24 1 min Trump acquitted—Officially as innocent as OJ! WASHINGTON, D.C.—With a 57 to 43 vote, the US Senate failed to convict Trump, making the former president officially as innocent as OJ...
The Fluke News Staff Feb 17 1 min Biden dismisses Uighur concentration camps: "Genocide is just part of China's culture" MILWAUKEE, WI—In last night’s CNN Town Hall with Anderson Cooper, Joe Biden responded to concerns about China’s recent extreme violation...
The Fluke News Staff Dec 19, 2020 1 min Trump signs new Executive Order unilaterally banning Eumelanin in the US WASHINGTON, D.C.— In a rush to leave his legacy during his remaining days in office, Donald Trump signed into existence a Executive Order...
