Feinstein staffers assure public they can still put a hand up her ass and make her mouth move
Dianne Feinstein tries running for senate as Fianne Deinstein
DMV Unbans LGBT+ License Plates, Rebans Gay Marriage
Kamala Harris claims she also has classified documents in desperate attempt to feel included
Biden: “The East Palestine train wreck proves the workers who run it don’t deserve to unionize”
In desperate fundraising email, Pelosi promises donors “teensy bit” of insider trading information
Elon Musk OWNS Twitter liberals by mowing down family of five with Cybertruck
After Series of Typos, Donald Trump Files Presidential Candidacy in Armenia
Liz Truss actually just Boris Johnson in disguise
INVESTING PRODIGY: Paul Pelosi named Fuqua's next James B. Duke Professor of Finance
Confused stoner rejoices as Ted Budd declares victory
Blue Tenter Says Poll Line “Too Long”
Running Out of Causes to Champion, PETA Turns Attention to Toppled Scooters That “Look Sad”
Kanye spotted running away from WU with AirDrop open
Ciceronian Society announces its own climate pledge: burning barrels of oil for fun
India invades UK to help stabilize the country during turbulent time
War criminal calls war criminal war criminal, surprising war criminals everywhere
Chevron intern promises to solve climate change from the inside
Frat bro discovers Duke is not named after KKK Grand Wizard, demands refund over false advertising
“Liberal 'No Nut November' breaches our American liberty,” says Ciceronian Society
Jeb Bush reportedly missing for 7 months, nobody noticed
Poli-Sci major enlightens international student about his own country
Return to Normalcy: Known serial rapist’s conviction overturned for bullshit legal reason
"Biden is not healthy enough to be president," says guy who doesn't believe in getting vaccinated
J&J vaccine rollout paused after revealed to be just “No Tear, 2 in 1 Baby Shampoo and Conditioner”
Breaking: Freed Suez Canal ship heads to Georgia for next voter blocking bill
After watching “MONTERO” video, this heterosexual, women-loving Cru member has faith crisis
Trump alludes to a third run—The Fluke predicts his mile time
Trump apologizes for divisive rhetoric, inciting riot at CPAC
Trump acquitted—Officially as innocent as OJ!
Biden dismisses Uighur concentration camps: "Genocide is just part of China's culture"
Trump signs new Executive Order unilaterally banning Eumelanin in the US
Campaign Blunder: Trump goes to Transylvania instead of Pennsylvania
Desperate White House staffers bring in cast of Sesame Street to explain to Trump how elections work
New cabinet position created: Secretary of Checking if Biden Died in His Sleep
Joe Biden injured in fight with his “terrifying evil clone,” later determined to be his reflection