“I love fossil dating:” Archeologists, Sugar Babies Bond Over Shared Interest

Kamala Harris claims she also has classified documents in desperate attempt to feel included

HRL reveals Hollows named after how students are supposed to feel at Duke

Duke introduces new McKinsey major to streamline consulting pipeline

Duke Engage changes name to Duke Marriage Pact to get more submissions

Duke ecologists declare philosophy majors to be endangered

Mysterious Squirrel Attacks linked to ADPhi Rabies Outbreak

Biden: “The East Palestine train wreck proves the workers who run it don’t deserve to unionize”

Student with infectious personality finally quarantined

BREAKING: Student good at sports betting—and keeps it to themself

Slay! This female serial killer murders small children and big stereotypes

Op-ed: My roommate dropped a grape on the ground. Is he going to pick it up?

In desperate fundraising email, Pelosi promises donors “teensy bit” of insider trading information

Following Me Too movement, Wannamaker renamed Wannaconsenter

Elon Musk OWNS Twitter liberals by mowing down family of five with Cybertruck

A Candid Interview with an Air Force 1

“The most fun you’ll never want to have again!” says SNU Pledge missing eye, finger

“Pssst… Hey! You should eat with me until my friend comes,” student desperately whispers to spider

“I’m not gay,” and other lies European Men will tell to get into your pants

"That's MY Secret Spot:" Vincent Price bans white tenting after Sex Dungeon added to scavenger hunt.

Op-ed: Your Emotional Support Service Animal Shouldn’t Need a Service Animal

American Grand Strategy shoots down hot air balloon touring Durham

After Series of Typos, Donald Trump Files Presidential Candidacy in Armenia

Gradey Dick pounds Duke Defense

Do You Believe in Miracles? Duke Plays Duke, Wins

WU Restaurants Respond Reasonably to Inflation by Doubling Prices

In effort to evade Raiders’ roster, Davante Adams accepts jail time

Liz Truss actually just Boris Johnson in disguise

A capella member lacks pep on stage, later lacks heartbeat

Fluke Analytics Report: Petite, docile men get the most maduros at Sazón

INVESTING PRODIGY: Paul Pelosi named Fuqua's next James B. Duke Professor of Finance

Confused stoner rejoices as Ted Budd declares victory

Blue Tenter Says Poll Line “Too Long”

Duke to demolish east campus dorms so freshmen finally talk about about something else

Running Out of Causes to Champion, PETA Turns Attention to Toppled Scooters That “Look Sad”

Op-Ed: I will kill myself if I'm the comic relief character in the group Halloween costume again

Waynestockings: Shapely calves and “astonishing elegance” displayed in annual Swan Lake performance

Op-Ed: Chicken Little lied for attention. Here’s why I do it too.

Duke Student Boldly Displays Individuality by Wearing Duke Sweatshirt

Kanye spotted running away from WU with AirDrop open

Ciceronian Society announces its own climate pledge: burning barrels of oil for fun

Bitter Long Distance Partner Thumbs Up "I love you" Message

Short Friends are the New Lap Dogs: How to Get One and Keep Them Happy

P-Edge dissolves after members P-Cum

Duke falling dangerously behind Ivies in number of war criminals produced

Op-ed: Restraining Order? Signs your Mr. Perfect is just playing hard to get

Leaked Duke Dining food point budgeting plan offers free gastric balloons to football game attendees

In effort to avoid grass, Duke to offer mudpatch

Fraternities struggling as cocaine shipments delayed by mailroom

The Fluke's top 5 tips to avoid being mistaken for a predator as you "study" at Wilson Gym