DURHAM, N.C.—A recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center sent shockwaves through Duke’s campus. According to the nonpartisan fact tank, an estimated 0% of current Duke University undergrads voted in the 2000 United States presidential election, a frighteningly low statistic that many are calling an “insult to democracy.”
Sanford Professor John Carr said the study results were “disheartening.” “So many of these students are from Florida and other swing states. They could’ve really made a difference in what was such a controversial election, but it seems like most of them just sat on their asses or something.”
As for the student body, many undergraduates expressed appropriate shame and regret at their past inaction during such a catalytic moment in United States history.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” said hater of freedom Sarah Ryder (T '27.)
Political scientists across the country were left baffled by the results, especially as they stand in contrast to data concerning other college campuses.
According to the study, nearly 98% of current undergrads across all Ivy League schools voted in 2000.
“They put in the work,” said policy analyst Ben Friedland. “They made a plan to vote, whether it was through osmosis since they weren’t in the physical plane yet, or making sure to get their IDs in order before they left the hospital on the day of their birth.”
Carr said the contrasting results provide more proof supporting the current image of Duke students. “They are just inferior to Ivy League students. It’s sad to say, but the truth.”
The Pew Research Center is set to analyze whether or not current undergrads voted in the 2004 United States election, but some aren’t looking forward to it. “After these results, I have very little hope in the Duke student body.”
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