Econ major points out that if you were to then you probably could systemize as long as you do and account for that
Duke students deemed enemies of democracy after revelation that 0% of current undergrads voted in pivotal 2000 election
White guy with buzzcut and zero self-awareness afraid of people finding out he's Republican
RAs hold baked goods for freshman in new Hansel and Gretel scheme
Pretentious much? This “guy” says he “read” a “whole book” for “fun”
Meet “Misery Lot,” parking for the proletariat
Marxist student receives Laundrymen service
Students desperately try to piece together professor’s life from 3 second flashes of their YouTube recommendations
Project Wild freshmen instructed not to shower all semester
Get this on video!: Student rides BC Plaza bikes
Duke ID Replaced by Duke Ego
Depressed student surprised to get his picture taken: “Oh you meant THAT kind of chapel headshot"
University builds tent for DKU students after Epworth pipe burst
Telling your friends that Duke is ranked over Penn is good for you. Here's how to do it best.
Student Nominated for Oscar After Mastering “Forgot My Wallet” Face at Hurricane Relief Table
MLB Postseason underway, your annoying roommate sucks even more now
Ex-racist Duke student found ‘not guilty’ after reporting having Black neighbors
Econ 101 student suggests placing tariffs on deported immigrants to maximize trade surplus
Duke announces plan to brag about Ed Sheeran concert for the next 100 years
Bikes on BC Plaza make statement that cycling infrastructure is in fact going nowhere
5 Ways To Introduce Your Situationship When You Run into Them With This Parents Weekend
“Main character” who thought nighttime escape was accompanied by soundtrack disappointed to find themself on stationary BC plaza bike
After 119 Years, The Chronicle to Disband
Progressive! 68% of fraternity members believe same-sex kissing is fine, as long as it’s between two straight girls at one of their parties
Marine Lab Sees Increase in Applications from Confused ROTC Students
"No way to prevent this:" Student drowns in Abele Quad puddle
"Christian Girl Autumn" bashed for discrimination, replaced with ‘Non-denominational Person Harvest’
A Capella Group “The Pitchforks” renamed “The Pitchspoons” to be more well-rounded
Baseball player loses his daily hat; what happens now?
Duke pledges $1 million for made free throw, “randomly selects” 90 year old English Professor
Duke researchers find you’re the only one on campus struggling
Duke to roll out artificial friend groups alongside artificial turf
Duke In Madrid student horrified to learn Spanish women are not into Americans
Golden Retriever Boyfriend Sent Upstate
In rare act of compassion, Vincent Price offers to lick away students' tears
Mathematicians struggle to derive formula for calculating the Duke Difference
Op-ed: Sometimes it’s better to pretend it’s Nutella
Sazón introduces new lottery system in attempt to limit diners and curb crowds
Temperatures drop, top one-percenters can now social signal with a sweater tied around their neck
Duke releases Latinx students from Bryan Center Basement for Hispanic Heritage Month
Duke to hire male interpreters for female speakers to repeat what they just said but louder
Everyone in seminar thrilled to hear 15-minute discussion between one student and professor
Heartwarming: East Campus pickleball player discovers a second hobby
Op-Ed: I am cold
Paranormal occurrences: Three blonde men in one room
President Price announces he will make construction less of an eyesore by switching Duke’s colors to orange and black
President Price legalizes marijuana in bid for re-election
Professor reveals he mixes up non-white students because of dementia, not racism
Professor shares totally appropriate anecdote about his marriage
Sinkhole swallows prospective student tour group on Abele Quad, new fence goes up