Duke to announce new fall sport: Virtue Signalling



CAMERON INDOOR—In the midst of Black Lives Matter dominating social media feeds, Duke has done what it does best: profit off of black exploitation.


Seeing the success of #BlackOutTuesday posts with no further action, Duke recognized a true talent in its students that needed to be shown off.


Virtue Signalling will have two teams, each consisting of ten Public Policy majors that have taken a maximum of one class on race, all taught by a white professor. Each player will have five minutes to make the most aesthetically pleasing Instagram story post that lacks substance with whatever hashtag movement is popular at the time. Referees will then judge the quality of the post, the amount of people who saw it, and how little it did to actually help the cause. Extra points will be rewarded if a tasteless selfie is posted right after.


Duke hopes the funds generated will offset the cost of their poor attempts to fix race relations on campus, and is working to expand the sport to the entire ACC.


Larry Moneta will coach the team.