DURHAM, NC—After trying to recruit Lebron James’ son Bronny, a freshman in high school, Duke has announced that they are recruiting the entirety of the basketball legend’s future lineage.
In a recent Instagram post, James proudly announced that his male line for “a thousand generations” is henceforth recruited to the Duke basketball program according to a nefarious blood ceremony conducted by star coach and recruiting powerhouse Mike Krzyzewski.
Duke fans through the next millenia will be able to watch the James offspring bring Duke to future championships in a tradition that will last through that coming time when we watch the great behemoths we call nations fall into flame and terror, as the last scions of the James basketball empire come into their birthright as the rulers of a crueler world.
Sources report a prophecy that after 1000 generations of Blue Devils, one young James will arrive to defeat the great evil of UNC once and for all through the forces of dark magic, and then sign a marketing deal with Nike.
Duke basketball for the win!