DURHAM, NC—Thanks to the gallant efforts of Duke’s American Grand Strategy heroes this past weekend, Durham is saved.
Durham residents were surprised to hear gunfire late Saturday afternoon when they witnessed several Blue Devils camped on Tobacco Road. Spectators saw the intrepid students lined up on the East Campus quad sporting small firearms and light weapons such as handguns, shotguns, pistols, assault rifles fitted with high capacity magazines and bump stocks, machine guns, RPGs, and sniper rifles.
“When we saw the balloon, we just had to grab whatever we had laying around on hand. Thankfully, it was enough firepower to take down the bogey,” said Craig Crumbley (Trinity ‘24), one of the soldiers on scene.
Thanks to this act of unparalleled bravery, three Communist Spies were eliminated. God bless America, and God bless the American Grand Strategy.