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    Fluke Investigates: Does this twitter activist not realize he's white?
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Nov 7, 2020
    • 1 min

    Fluke Investigates: Does this twitter activist not realize he's white?

    DURHAM, NC—White activist Daniel Yellin might be passionate about posting instagram stories about the Black Lives Matter movement and edu...
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    Op-ed: I won’t vote until we can ALL vote
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Oct 9, 2020
    • 1 min

    Op-ed: I won’t vote until we can ALL vote

    Frankly, I’m appalled by the levels of voter suppression here in North Carolina. The gerrymandering, the ID laws, and the intricacies of ...
    0 comments
    A comprehensive guide to analyzing your boyfriend’s childhood home on Zillow
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Oct 9, 2020
    • 2 min

    A comprehensive guide to analyzing your boyfriend’s childhood home on Zillow

    Go ahead and put his address into Zillow. There are now a few more things you have to think about besides the fact that he and his family...
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    Voting by carrier pigeon: A bi-partisan solution
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Oct 9, 2020
    • 1 min

    Voting by carrier pigeon: A bi-partisan solution

    Durham, NC—Pigeons do not care about your politics. In fact, the latest New York Times poll disclosed that 0% of all pigeons were registe...
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    Missing Tandoor? These recipes will make you feel just as ethnic, but still safe
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Sep 30, 2020
    • 2 min

    Missing Tandoor? These recipes will make you feel just as ethnic, but still safe

    For fellow students living off campus, missing out on exotic but comfortable food from West Union is one of the biggest challenges. If yo...
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    Student re-examines sexuality after attending the wrong Swing NC event
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Sep 28, 2020
    • 2 min

    Student re-examines sexuality after attending the wrong Swing NC event

    DURHAM, NC—Wednesday night certainly did not go as expected for Duke freshmen Todd Edwards and Thalia Stein. As the freshmen couple atten...
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    Duke Researchers Discover Promising Method for Shutting Off Pain in the Human Brain: Meth
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Jul 17, 2020
    • 1 min

    Duke Researchers Discover Promising Method for Shutting Off Pain in the Human Brain: Meth

    DURHAM, NC—After years of split testing, clinical trials, and car mufflers just “disappearing”, researchers in the Duke School of Medicin...
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    Adorable: White liberal thinks voting out Trump will end racism
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Jun 3, 2020
    • 2 min

    Adorable: White liberal thinks voting out Trump will end racism

    DURHAM, NC—In a moment guaranteed to make you say “awwww”, local white liberal Paul James recently voiced some groundbreaking advice for ...
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    Area Man doesn’t understand calling Asia Death a silly nickname like “COVID-19”
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Apr 1, 2020
    • 1 min

    Area Man doesn’t understand calling Asia Death a silly nickname like “COVID-19”

    DURHAM, NC—Following recent developments in the state of the global pandemic known as Asia Death, one concerned citizen has had enough of...
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    Girl who complains about gentrification excited for new vegan restaurant
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Feb 25, 2020
    • 1 min

    Girl who complains about gentrification excited for new vegan restaurant

    DURHAM, NC–Recently, local activist Maya Thompson, who has bravely and openly criticized the gentrification in and around Durham, has con...
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    Best places in Durham to eat alone on Valentines Day
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Feb 14, 2020
    • 2 min

    Best places in Durham to eat alone on Valentines Day

    1. Soc Psych Bathroom So you’re eating alone on Valentine’s. So what! It could be worse: you could still be dating that asshole Jordan. I...
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    Local landfill now filled with discarded signs from climate strike
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Sep 26, 2019
    • 1 min

    Local landfill now filled with discarded signs from climate strike

    LITERALLY EVERYWHERE, EARTH—Last week, Anna Li, who can’t go a second without making everything about herself, excitedly went out and bou...
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    Hurricane snore-ian: sleepy student prays for property destruction
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Sep 5, 2019
    • 1 min

    Hurricane snore-ian: sleepy student prays for property destruction

    DURHAM, NC—As Hurricane Dorian’s death toll sharply mounts, sophomore Javier Zheng lies in his dorm room curled in several warm blankets ...
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    Duke University proposes new white rail
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Apr 3, 2019
    • 1 min

    Duke University proposes new white rail

    DURHAM, NC—In the face of mounting local criticism of Duke’s efforts to stop GoTriangle’s proposed light rail system, University official...
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    Kim Cates responds to town hall about concern over playlist at Shooters II
    The Fluke News Staff
    • Jan 18, 2019
    • 1 min

    Kim Cates responds to town hall about concern over playlist at Shooters II

    SHOOTERS II SALOON—Headed to Shooters this weekend? There's a lot to look forward to - they’re blasting the same music you know and owner...
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