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Breaking: Freed Suez Canal ship heads to Georgia for next voter blocking bill

ATLANTA,GA—Inspired by the Evergreen ship’s ability to block the free flow of goods at the Suez Canal for days, the Georgian State Legislature has hired the ship to station voting centers in Black neighborhoods to block Black and Brown voters from voting.

“The properly registered ship’s stubbornness to prevent other ships from passing taught us an important lesson—that even if there is a will, there doesn’t necessarily have to be a way!” explained David Ralston, the Speaker of the Georgia House.

The bill stipulates that for every election henceforth, the 1,312-foot, 220,000 ton ship will be towed to voting center entrances at every Black and Brown neighborhood to physically prevent liberal voters in those areas from entering those buildings, and a statewide ban of excavators will also be put in place.

At press time, Georgia governor Brian Kemp is also said to be considering hiring US Army experts to landmine areas in a 10 mile radius of all voting centers in left-leaning neighborhoods.



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