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C1 Bus Driver Executes Student Sipping Coffee: "They should have read the sign"

WEST CAMPUS BUS LOOP—As sophomore Josh Hinston sipped his Beyu Blue coffee and scrolled mindlessly on Tik Tok, he became confused when the bus driver began gesticulating wildly at him. He was wearing his mask, after all. Taking out his AirPods, Hinston was ordered to the front of the bus.

“Can you read?” the bus driver angrily inquired.

Seeing the sign advertising no eating or drinking on the C1, the sophomore quickly apologized and started to head back to his seat when the man grabbed the back of his shirt.

“You know the rules. Kneel down and stare at the ground,” the bus driver barked.

Unsure of what the driver meant but afraid to argue, Hinston reluctantly kneeled down and inspected the floor. While the sophomore thought about his late econ homework, the driver unsheathed his four-foot English longsword and swiftly beheaded the rulebreaker.

Students groaned audibly, knowing they would yet again be late to class due to the lengthy cleanup of blood off of the C1 floor.



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