WASHINGTON, D.C.—Shortly after announcing she will not run for reelection in 2024, Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) has thrown her hat back into the ring, albeit underneath a different name. The Federal Election Commission reported that “Fianne Deinstein,” an 89-year-old woman from San Francisco, had filed for candidacy. Officials have claimed that Senator Feinstein was behind the filing.
However, a source close to Senator Feinstein insists that the filing was done in earnest. “At this point in time, she genuinely believes her name is Fianne Deinstein and that Fianne’s destiny is to be a public servant until her last breath. Can we fault her for that? Who are we to throw away decades and decades of experience just because she’s not ‘mentally all there?’”
The Fianne Deinstein campaign promises that Deinstein will represent the interests of ordinary Americans by not caring much about her job. In response to Deinstein’s filing for candidacy, Occupy Democrats tweeted, “BEST OF LUCK TO DEFIANT DEMOCRAT FIANNE DEINSTEIN ON HER CANDIDACY! RETWEET IF YOU THINK SHE SHOULD SERVE FOR ANOTHER 30 YEARS! IF YOU DON’T, YOU DESERVE DEATH!”