Joe Biden injured in fight with his “terrifying evil clone,” later determined to be his reflection

DELAWARE—“Keep it together jack,” Joe muttered to himself softly. He sat alone on the edge of his bed in darkness, trying desperately to keep his breathing under control. He was shaken, spooked by something he had glimpsed in the shadows…something unnatural. The glimpse lasted for less than a second, but it was enough to shake Joe to his core, making his insides feel like thick, churning sludge.


“Damn it!” he shouted abruptly, allowing his fear to turn into anger. He was trembling, knowing that whatever he had witnessed was still inside the house...lurking in the shadows. Knowing sleep was a lost cause, Joe dashed to the lightswitch and flicked on the lights. Immediately, he was bathed in light, yet this failed to assuage his fears.


“That… creature… whatever it was… it’s still out there,” Joe thought to himself. He began to pace nervously, unable to keep his mind from imaging horrific scenarios. He forced himself to go back to the brief memory of what he had witnessed: a pale, gaunt creature roughly the same height as him. It had appeared with a flash and disappeared just as quick, vanishing in an instant.


Joe swallowed hard, mustering up the courage to confront whatever it was he had seen. He forced his legs to move with tremendous effort, slowly walking towards the bathroom where had last seen the… thing. He took a final deep, shaky breath at the entrance to the bathroom and counted to ten slowly. At ten, he let out a piercing battle cry and rushed in, only to find the creature already waiting for him. It stood there silently, mocking him by copying his every move. Joe moved left, then right, then left again, threw a right hook and a left cross, yet the creature copied him perfectly.


“It must be… uh… using some sort of dark forbidden magic,” Joe thought to himself. Overwhelmed by the swelling fear inside him, Joe closed his eyes and threw a wild haymaker at the devil’s spawn. Immediately, his hand flared with intense pain, covered in blood and bits of broken glass.


“Oh dear God, not again,” Joe sobbed to himself as he sank into a corner, “it was just my reflection. Why does this keep happening?!”



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