Legacy parent sure their kid would have gotten in anyway


EAST CAMPUS— The parents of first-year Amadea Bock of Rye, New York, expressed on Monday that they were pretty sure their daughter would have gotten in even if she wasn’t a legacy.


“My daughter raised millions to teach Kenyan girls how to make origami, okay? It was clear she was better than many at Duke.” Bock rebuked, glossing over the fact that the Bock family donated half the money.


When pressed on whether legacy admission is fair, the parents instead criticized how affirmative action marginalized “well-rounded” and “talented” kids like their daughter.


“Maybe if those people didn’t spend all that time smoking all that dope and studied they wouldn’t have needed affirmative action to help them get in.” argued Bock, who once paid off the police at Southampton when they busted his daughter for drug possession.


When reached for comment, she asked us to focus on the corrupt financial elite, and not people like her who are “upper middle-class.”