DURHAM, N.C.—The recent invasion of fluorescent cones and bulldozers on Duke’s campus has prompted a shocking rebrand for the university. According to a recent announcement from President Price, the university will officially switch its colors to orange and black after fall break.
Price justified the change by explaining that “blue and white don’t fit the aesthetic anymore.” He added that “a cohesive look really matters in the rankings. It is imperative that we match everything to the same level of ugliness as the construction.”
Some students have vocalized support for the new colors. According to Tiffany Juilles (Trinity ‘25), “Duke really needed to fix this distraction. I got a C on my history midterm because I couldn’t focus – the orange flags outside clashed too heavily with my blue sweatshirt.”
University Stores has eagerly assured alumni that an all-new collection of overpriced orange merchandise will soon be ready for purchase.
Price added that a new mascot is still being workshopped, with tentative approval for the “Duke Traffic Cones.”