WASHINGTON, D.C.— In a rush to leave his legacy during his remaining days in office, Donald Trump signed into existence a Executive Order 13959: a sweeping ban on all Eumelanin in the United States.
Shortly after issuing the federal directive, the President tweeted “Eumelanin is an EXTREMELY DANGEROUS toxin that poisons our great cities! It causes VIOLENT behavior, poor decision making, and laziness, just to name a few of its harmful effects. I have banned this horrible substance to restore LAW AND ORDER to the GREATEST nation on Earth!”
Executive Order 13959 raised eyebrows across the country and world, given the anti-eumelanin movement has virtually no mainstream relevance or support, localized almost entirely to fringe white supremacist groups. Moreover, eumelanin is found predominantly within minority communities, especially black and brown communities, which may suggest that the executive order may have been racially motivated. Over the course of the day, vigorous backlash erupted across the nation; protests were rapidly organized in all US states except West Virginia, Iowa, Idaho, and the Dakotas.