DURHAM, N.C.— On the evening of October 31st, an eerie silence spread across East Campus’s West House. Out of its 90 hostages, not a single West House resident was heard violently coughing as a result of a Centennial’s worth of mold. But this silence wouldn’t last long. The morning of November 1st, students awoke to the familiar feeling of reddened eyes and irritated throats. It was then that FiR Anne-Gaelle Saliot revealed the surprise: West House had dressed up as a mold-free dorm for Halloween.
Residents expressed mixed views on the costume choice. “Looking back, it’s kind of upsetting,” first-year Dereck Smith shared. “Like, if they could give us no mold for one night, why can’t we live like kings all the time?”
Jessica Warner, on the other hand, struggled with the change. “I couldn’t get any sleep until the clock struck midnight. The silence was just too distracting: the coughing is like white noise for me.”
“I’m not totally sure why students seemed so transformed that night. It’s not like we got rid of the mold, we just encouraged the cockroaches to eat the black specks off the floor and put a photo of Bell Tower on the dorm entrance.” Saliot confessed. “It makes you wonder if it’s really the mold causing the West Homies to constantly be sick.”
This question led to an ongoing investigation into the lives of West House residents. Although results have not been released, insiders have suggested that the biweekly orgies have been contributing to sickness. If this is found to be true, the University may reevaluate plans set to renovate the dorm for the spring semester.
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