What is a libertarian and why can’t they help me checkout a book?

PERKINS LIBRARY—One fateful day, Faye Pelosi (Trinity ’24) stumbled across the perennial problem of finding a book in the maze of Perkins Library. Even Plato’s “Republic” evaded her search. Desperate, she overheard a man, John Patrick (Pratt ‘23), talking loudly about being a libertarian. “Listen, there’s no one more oppressed than libertarians. Being a libertarian is a choice that I make everyday.”


Pelosi found it incredible that a career in organizing books could be so treacherous. She decided to ask him where to find the “Republic.” It’s his job, after all. It was strange that his uniform was a sweatshirt reading “taxation is theft,” but then again, libraries can be cold.


Pelosi approached him and asked, “Hey, I heard you were a libertarian, and I just want to ask—do you know where Plato’s ‘Republic’ is?”


Patrick replied, “Uh, not really, but if you want a good read then Jordan Peterson just came out with—”

Pelosi was confused. He’s a libertarian, so why couldn’t he help her check out a book? She reluctantly followed him to the Jordan Peterson section. He started to talk about being “socially liberal” but “fiscally conservative,” which was a bit of an over-share for a guy who was supposed to show people books. Then it dawned on her. He may have been a libertarian, but really, he was just an asshole.



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