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Op-ed: Sometimes it’s better to pretend it’s Nutella

We’ve all been there: so eager to relieve ourselves as we hurry to the restroom only to be greeted by a Jackson Pollock image of brown on plastic or tile. Suddenly, what was to be a joyful experience has been tainted, and your day is ruined.

Life can be challenging. It can have unpleasant surprises. Rough patches are aplenty in this never-ending march toward meaningless death we so vaguely costume as a mission of self-fulfillment. 

These aforementioned stains present one of the greatest challenges to our mental stability and sanity. These little wall decorations some so kindly decided to ornament upon our shared bathrooms in the dorms and WU can damper anyone’s mood. Breaking up with your significant other, failing a test, or your dog dying can make for a pretty shitty day, but seeing those abstract yet oddly familiar splash marks on the stalls is on another level. A seemingly happy and sunny day can easily be overshadowed by the brown clouds of the bathroom.

However, I have a solution. A simple modification to perception, a slight revision, can make existence that much more bearable: the Nutellafication of reality. By substituting the rancid brown stains for the smooth, sugary image of Nutella, life can be that much better. You can turn your trip to Hershey Park into a trip to Hershey Park!

This substitution does wonders for everyday life. You will develop a more positive attitude and be once again excited to go to the restroom. Rather than greeting your surprise friend with a gag, you will greet it with exaltations and joy, in all situations!



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