EAST CAMPUS—Sources report that Jenny Baker and Alexa Schneider, Class of 2024, have
miraculously brainstormed a way to keep their newfound friend group in touch during this year’s 2 month winter break – by simply meeting up.
“I’m literally so down,” Baker reportedly sent to the GroupMe, in response to the Google Doc shared by their close-knit circle of the 15 people in their building that didn’t already have friends by FDOC. Among their ideas were “Disney!!” and “Friendsgiving at Sara’s?? <3”
“Omg this would actually be so fun,” responded Marie Johnson, a fellow Trinity first-year, despite living 6 states away from the next nearest person. Johnson supposedly was responsible for engineering the “west coast road trip” despite not owning a drivers license or ever having been to the west coast.
Reports indicate that Baker continues to edit the bullet point list, now at a shocking 28 items, not one of which is located in her hometown of Greenwich, Connecticut. Our sources predict that come November 24th, her messages asking “should we actually?” will be receiving a mere 1 like and 0 responses.
At press time, 6 of the 15 are brunching together at Marketplace, desperately racking their brains for any semblance of a shared interest deeper than needing friends.
