Econ major points out that if you were to then you probably could systemize as long as you do and account for that

DURHAM, N.C. — If there’s one takeaway every Duke student has during their time in University, it is the grandeur of the Econ major. While easier majors like physics and chemistry contribute nothing to society beyond letter-filled equations and explosions, Economics is undeniably a fast track to pumping out consultants ready to solve some of the most pressing issues in our society. But with such a daunting responsibility comes great difficulty in developing problem-solving systems. That is, for all but one student.

After receiving a text from his friend that attendance was up, Chad Goldman ran into the Econ 101 classroom ready to scan the QR code on the screen. At that moment, something dawned on him: “If you were to, then you probably could systemize. That is, as long as you do and account for that.” The Fluke News gained exclusive access to the public update made to Goldman’s LinkedIn bio immediately after this stroke of brilliance: 

“When considering all the options that one has in this society, it is important to consider all that there is to know. Risk assessment is imperative to acknowledging what could be if you were to: For example, I have concluded that if you were to choose that route, you most likely would be able to structure a systemized methodology. However, this hinges upon the requirement that you actually do. Once this has been done, success is not far off from the horizon as long as you take extra care to make sure to account for that.”

Goldman’s bio update received 3 likes from the brothers of AK-Alpha-Psi-Theta-Delta-Chi.