Closed windows prompt students to smoke marijuana directly into fire alarms



WEST CAMPUS, DUKE UNIVERSITY—Students have responded to the sealing of residential windows on West Campus by blowing marijuana smoke directly into their smoke detectors.


David Wen, a senior studying Public Policy, argued that his choice was made out of necessity. “It’s too cold to go smoke on the quad and all the windows are sealed,” he said. “Where else am I supposed to exhale marijuana smoke?”


Sophomore Spencer Jones explained his choice as an act of resistance. “The only reason I can smoke weed is my enormous privilege as a well-off Duke student," he said. "What better way to protest American inequality than pissing off whoever’s in charge of these smoke detectors?” Jones is planning a group protest in March where students gather to blow smoke at smoke detectors in an act of solidarity with all those who face consequences for their drug habits.


Some students had different motives for their actions, however. “Look, I don’t even like weed,” senior Alexa Hernandez explained. “I just hate blinking LEDs. I also blow smoke at my alarm clock.”


When reached for comment, administrators noted that as a cost-saving measure, the smoke detectors are nonfunctional anyway.