Despite commitment to diversity, sorority has no Geminis



DURHAM, NC — Amidst the chants and half-hearted embraces with their new sisters, the key three sororities welcomed their latest pledge class that got campus questioning their commitment to diversity as one major demographic is noticeably absent — Geminis.


Responding to criticism that their sorority is filled primarily with Aries and Capricorns, Lauren Cahill, vice president of a top sorority who herself is a Capricorn, responded that “our group is the most diverse it has ever been, and the lack of Geminis may just be because not many Geminis rushed this year.”


One Gemini freshman who was spotted quietly sobbing behind the Bryan Center claims that she overheard the sorority’s members discriminate against her sign, with the classic trope that Geminis are “two faced.” She added that she knew she’d be rejected, because “this month’s horoscopes told me that I’d have bad luck.”


The claims of discrimination at the hands of top sororities mirror those lobbied recently by another historically discriminated and tokenized group — brunettes.