DURHAM, N.C.— Freshman Giana Cameron’s world stopped last Saturday night after the love of her life, fellow freshman Jacob Walker, dropped a terrifying declaration. Following a passionate night of grinding in the Shooter’s cage, the couple made a fairytale exit to Walker’s dingle in Bassett.
“We’ve been regularly hooking up for the last two weeks,” Cameron explained to the Fluke, “Well, only after nights out when his friends aren’t around, but that’s just because he cares. Things have gotten pretty serious and I’m pretty positive Jacob’s the one. Last Thursday, he walked me back to my dorm! He’s such a gentleman, he even looked both ways before he kissed me goodbye.”
The relationship took a harrowing turn that Saturday in Bassett 369 when Jacob reportedly turned to Giana in bed and frantically proclaimed, “Oh my god, you’re not the only one! I’m seeing two of you!”
“My heart sunk,” lamented Giana, “I couldn’t fathom being the other woman after everything we’ve been through. He Snapchats me every day. We make eye contact in Marketplace. We share his vape. It was such a relief when I realized he’d actually just lost his glasses. Classic Jacob! I’ve always known he’s only had eyes for me.”
With the location of Jacob’s eyeglasses still unknown, the Fluke also reached out to Walker regarding his vision incident.
“Oh, I am absolutely hooking up with other girls,” a squinting Jacob confirmed, “Jenny – I mean Giana – totally knows this is casual. But how is that in any way relevant? I need to find my glasses.”
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