DURHAM, NC—After carefully weighing all possible options, Duke has decided to switch to a fail/fail grading system for Spring 2020 grades in order to worsen the transition into online classes.
According to an email sent out by Duke's Office of Student Affairs, “We understand that some people’s home circumstances will get in the way of getting good grades. Therefore, it is only fair that everyone else fails as well.”
The idea was originally inspired by the universal satisfactory system being implemented by other universities. However, Duke believed this system lacks the “chaos that we hope to create for our student body".
Additionally, in order to ensure optimal failure, Duke will be blacklisting every undergraduate and graduate student at all major finance, consulting, tech, and pretty much every other type of company.