DURHAM, NC––In a stunning move, following the recommendation of a university equity committee and President Vincent E. Price, Duke University’s Board of Trustees approved the removal of John Wannamaker’s name from a residential building on the school’s West Campus. The trustees elected to restore the building to a more politically correct name: Wannaconsenter Quad.
“We are extremely excited to make this important step forward,” Price said, “Considering the wide sweep on the #MeToo movement, our PR team has advised us to listen to the student body and their fragile perspectives.”
Other members of the student body were disappointed by the change, calling the measure symbolic at best.
“If Duke really cared about its diverse student body,” Joseph Smith (Pratt ‘25), Craven Quad President commented, “they would rename the building Wannaconsentx.”