Freshman ready to be anything but himself for Halloween

EAST CAMPUS—Halloween season is approaching and no one is more excited than current freshman James Young, who is ready to dress up and forget his own crushing self-hatred.

“Every day I have to wake up and accept that this is who I am and there’s nothing I can do to change it. But not Halloween,” Young explained. “On the 31st of October, I can be whoever I want, and you better believe I’m not going to be myself.”

“On the outside? Maybe a cat, a scarecrow, or batman,” Young continued. “On the inside? Still pathetic, miserable me. I can’t wait.”

After Halloween, Young will be looking forward to late October next year when he can once more hide his all-consuming self-pity behind a quickly thrown together costume.