Girl adds joining a low-tier sorority to Volunteer section of resume



DURHAM, NC—This rush season, Jessica Glad, of the Glad trash bag fortune, felt like giving back. Rather than join the ranks of the Key Three, she decided to grace a lower-tier organization with her presence.


“When I saw their shining faces, with Air Force 1s instead of Golden Gooses, I knew they needed me,” Jessica explained while making a face at a Marketplace worker. “I spent summers in Africa, but I felt like it was time to take my talents to my own backyard.”


Glad's work as a low-tier sorority member now proudly graces her resume, which her parents are forwarding to consulting firms.


When asked if she was in fact dropped from Tri Delta and had to rely on this bid, Glad declined to comment.


Next, Jessica plans on taking a voluntourism trip to Cancun, Mexico. Way to go Jessica!