DURHAM, N.C.—Confusion erupted among students this Tuesday following an unorthodox subversion of social norms by Tina Roberts (P ‘23) in a text sent to her “I-see-her-once-a-month” friend, Ashley Lehman (T ‘24.) Following Lehman’s insincere “How are you? We should catch up soon,” Roberts texted back “Sorry, just saw this!” three weeks later.
“I assumed she was pulling the classic move of lying about just seeing a text, when both of you know it’s a lie and just silently agree never to acknowledge it. It’s not like I really wanted to catch up anyways. The thing is, [Roberts] and I ran into each other three times in a week and made an empty promise to hang out sometime soon each time it happened. I felt like the appropriate thing to do was to reach out so we could make plans that will ultimately fall through because neither of us wants to put enough effort into forming a real connection.”
In a surprising turn of events, Lehman was shocked to learn that Roberts was not lying and had been placed in a medical coma on January 20th. “I can’t believe it, really. I thought she was just being socially avoidant like a normal person, ”said Lehman on the revelation. Social psychologists remain puzzled by this phenomenon, as the expected pattern of behavior would have been to ignore the text upon waking from the coma—like a normal person.
Experts say the unfortunate medical emergency has produced one of the first legitimate “just saw this” texts known to man.