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Guy with stolen dorm items carefully placed in zoom frame definitely fucks

Durham, NC—Last night, Duke freshman Peter McFeaver was arrested and escorted out of Edens. McFeaver reportedly left a Duke traffic cone and a “wet floor” sign on his shelf during a Zoom lecture. A concerned student, who reached out to the Fluke this morning, reported him to the police. The Florida native now faces charges of theft in the third degree.

Although the student requested to remain anonymous, he did give us the following quote:

“Look, when I first saw the stolen items, I thought ‘Wow, this guy’s fucking hilarious. And a badass too, stealing from Duke. Pete probably FUCKS’. But then I thought, ‘Wait...what if... he fucks more than me?’ It was at that moment that I knew exactly what to do: report the shit out of him. I think it was the right move—er, the right thing to do”.



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