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How to get you and your mom tickets to the Sigma Freud mixer

THE BARN—You’ve heard about it everywhere. From your lab partners to strangers in the line of shooters, even the geeds are talking about it. This Saturday is the most hotly-anticipated party of the year: the Sigma Freud mixer.

You thought getting bands to SNU was tough? That was a cake walk compared to this. Rumor has it they will be rating both you and your mom and will only extend the chance to audition for bands to those whose cumulative ranking is at least a 7/10.

Here’s what we know about the rest of the band process: first, you and your mother will be psychoanalyzed by Psych 101 students. Then, you will have to write a collaborative, critical analysis of Oedipus. Finally, in collaboration with undercover Tri Elektra sisters, prospective invites will be taken on dates in order to determine how attached they are to their moms. Quotes such as “look at my mom, isn’t she so pretty” and “you look so much like my mom, it’s crazy” and “I think you use the same conditioner as my mom” are sure hits.

After this grueling trial, lucky parent-child couples will be given bands to the mixer. According to one source, Mothers & Sons will cater the event. You do NOT want to miss this. Neither does your mom. If she wasn’t dirty-rushed at parent’s weekend shoots, good luck.



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