NEW ORLEANS, LA—Hotel staffers hosting the annual Fossil Dating Convention sponsored by the Archeological Institute of America (AIA) were stunned this past Sunday as swarms of sugar babies were found to be in attendance.
Hotel manager Robert Hopstel discusses the odd sight: “I think the fine young ladies were thinking there would be a certain type of older, wealthier demographic here. And, I mean, they got like fifty percent of those attributes.”
The confusion on behalf of the “sugar babies” is understood. Billboards around the city stated “Date a fossil!” and “Get coins from people of the past!”.
“We wanted the event to sound fun and interactive to get more kids to get involved. These weren’t the young people we wanted ,” sighed Elizabeth Greene, President of the AIA.
While administration was displeased with the outcome, archeologists in attendance were not.
“She can speak for herself,” states archeologist Bertrand Rockferd in response to Greene’s comments. “These were exactly the young people we wanted.”
“Yeah, I mean we came all the way out here and even though we don’t think this is gonna be a long term relationship due to a lack of funds, we figured we’d still have some fun with the guys,” explains Cheryl Sugarman, 22. “And I got to excavate a brachiopod! I dunno, maybe I could do this full time…”
Ultimately, the convention was a huge success for the AIA.
“I did hear that random men started attending, for reasons probably unrelated to archeology but still…,” Greene ponders. “I think we might invite the girls back next year.”