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Insidious Marketplace Blueberry leads to great 48 hour struggle

EAST CAMPUS—After eating a seemingly normal breakfast, an unsuspecting first-year student experienced a grueling 2 day ordeal as a result of a blueberry.

When E. Paul Steve Bowell (Trinity ‘26) woke up on the morning of March 28th, he thought he would enjoy a seemingly leisurely day with his one seminar course; however, his expectations were shattered shortly after eating his morning parfait.

Bowell reportedly experienced great discomfort and could not relieve himself of his symptoms. This build up of his symptoms eventually led him to be hospitalized, making him the 51st patient to fall victim to Marketplace. During his stay, Bowell reportedly fluctuated in and out of delirium and suffered cardiac arrest multiple times, requiring defibrillation faster than the hamster running on the wheel that powers Duke Hospital could handle.

When asked to comment regarding the unusually high hospitalization rate among Marketplace-goers, Kut Cohrner, a representative of Duke Dining, replied, “A little bit of E Coli never hurt anyone. It builds character!”

Despite his ordeal, Bowell holds no ill will. Bowell, who is a philosophy major, has said his near-death experience has actually led him to enlightenment regarding the nature of life and death.



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