KILGO QUAD—As fraternities, sororities, and SLGs all over campus are meeting to discuss their plans without housing next year, one living group is still sitting pretty: Roman Life.
One of the less-prevalent communities on campus, Roman Life has really established itself after the infamous HRL email that banned sections for all selective living groups. Due to their 100% acceptance rate and lack of J-named students, they were determined to not fit the qualifications of an SLG.
“I’m ecstatic that Jupiter shined his light upon us and allowed my brothers and me to continue living in his sacred space.” Joe Herandez, President of Chapter VI said. “If we weren’t allowed to stay in section, we would’ve had to make our offerings to Pluto on Main Quad.”
Being the only non-LLC with section, many will be expected to rely on Roman Life for parties to fuel their upcoming lackluster social lives. Most notably will be the multi-chapter honoring of the wine god Bacchus, where the newest pledge classes will each drink seven bags of Franzia and fight in front of the chapel for the gods’ blessing.
However, who knows how long this arrangement will last with rumors of XII releasing a goat in the LSRC and Tri-X’s numerous sexual assault allegations?