TARTARUS, HELL—Glarkkon the Devourer, an eons-long resident of the Endless Abyss, is hyped for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament after Duke’s six-game win streak. Clad in Duke blue from head to tail, this demon is writing his bracket in blood and speculating on the team’s success.
Translated into English from Tongues, the malevolent Blue Devils fan commented, “I think Filipowski will have a break-out performance in the tournament. He’s proven to be an integral part of this young yet promising team. I can see in his dreams that he wants to win badly.”
After consuming the flesh of dozens of innocent UNC fans, the entity chuckled and added, “And if he doesn’t lead the team to bring home number six, well, I will plague him with nightmares so terrifying that his madness will extend far beyond the limits of March. Go Devils, baby!”