“Marketplace workers are so rude,” complains student who has never worked a day in his life



EAST CAMPUS–While many freshman complain about the repetitive, bland food served at Marketplace, one brave freshman, Cameron Day, has decided to speak out about an even bigger problem: how the workers, who are routinely underpaid, understaffed, and overworked, have been kind of mean to him.


“I just don’t get why they have to give me so much sass,” Day complained about the workers, who had been serving hundreds of entitled students since 7:30AM.


“Honestly, they should be happy they even have jobs with that attitude,” continued Day, whose closest thing to a job was being paid $50 by his mom to mow the lawn when the landscapers couldn’t make it. “I guess my superior work ethic and attitude is why I’ll end up working a better job,” he concluded while on his way to the McKinsey interview his dad had set up for him.


It’s important for us to focus on these real problems. Forget the clear racial differences between the students and workers! Can the ladies in the omelette lines please just smile more?