DURHAM, N.C.—Even the grubbiest little freshman is familiar with “Miracle Lot,” the collection of notoriously elusive parking spaces at the tip of Blue Zone. Miracle Lot, legally known as BZ 2, has become an integrated part of Duke mythology, even for students without cars.
While the wandering traveler may try their luck at Miracle Lot a handful of times, they will quickly learn the reality of their situation. Miracle Lot cars haven’t moved in eons—the lot itself is an ancient siren, the traveler a lonely Odysseus.
“I’ve heard tales of Miracle Lot, but no one I know has ever made it there,” said Allie Cohen (T ‘26). “I’m starting to think it might just be a story made up by Big Parking to keep us searching for eternity.”
Forced to find a parking spot more fitting of their social class, Duke's Proletariat make a beeline for BZ 6: Misery Lot
The walk from Miracle Lot to Wu takes, on average, a swift 4.8 minutes. However, the same walk from Misery Lot can take hours, even days. Many sections of the journey are without sidewalk, and the badlands are roamed by mythical beasts with a hunger for college students. Pratt and Trinity students alike have slayed dragons, outran hippogriffs, and tiptoed past serpents—all to arrive 15 minutes late to lecture.
“It doesn’t feel fair,” said Cohen. “This morning I had to fight an enchanted spider—a big one, like Hagrid’s friend, you know? It challenged me to a duel the second I left my car, and now I’ve missed my third attendance question for Psych 101. Just because of my parking spot.”
Misery Lot is composed of off-campus seniors, unlucky sophomores, juniors returning from abroad, and freshmen who loathe public transportation and/or the environment. Former Miracle Lotters have been known to find themselves relegated to Misery Lot after an ill-advised Cookout run. Unconfirmed reports suggest Jesus Christ himself parks in Misery Lot before performing miracles on the local wildlife.
“The injustice can’t go on,” said Cohen, before adding, “We’ve nothing to lose but our chains; we have a world to win. Parkers of Misery Lot, unite!”
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