DURHAM, NC—Renowned professor, James McCown, was once awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics for discovering the sine curve of relative inflation, now he spends the first five minutes of his Econ 201 lecture begging his students to turn on their Zoom cameras.
“It’s pathetic,” McCown said. “I was one of the first people to theorize that Rothschild’s equation of hyperflexibility would only be applicable to silver-based economies, and now I have to plead with hungover students for a sliver of human interaction.”
Students have also reported his outbursts during lecture. Sophomore Jean Bottom tweeted, “yo wtf i think my econ prof is crying into his blackboard rn cause we won’t turn on our cameras #McDownBad.”
Professors and students alike are counting down the days until universal in-person classes, but until then, avoid Gross Hall on Mondays and Wednesdays unless you want to hear a sobbing Nobel laureate.