DURHAM, NC—There’s been a lot of discussion on campus in the past few days about the social, academic, and health effects that low socioeconomic status has on Duke students. Despite the opinions that many students have shared on the matter, in my experience, low income students should just ask their fathers for more money.
There’s a lot to spend money on at Duke: textbooks, meals off campus, and frat apparel to wear as a social power move.
Truly, I get what it’s like to come from a low income background. Each semester, my parents only put $2000 on my debit card. That’s only enough for two Canada goose jackets! When I quickly started to run out of funds freshman year (I purchased parkas in burgundy and black), my Dad stepped in and sent me an extra $1000 to get by. I am now the frugal and humble owner of an additional parka in tasteful beige.
There’s a lot of shame associated with being low income, like having to explain to your parents how you blew through the money they gave you so early on in the semester. You can imagine how hard it is to repeat this every few weeks. I won’t elaborate. I don’t want to sadden you.
Of course, some students come from different families without the same economic privileges that I was raised with. I get it. There are better ways for these students to handle their economic situations, though. If your Dad isn’t the breadwinner in your family, or you don’t have a Dad, you should ask your Mom for more money instead.
There’s nothing to lose, low income students! Just ask your Dad - or Mom! - for more money!