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Op-ed: My roommate dropped a grape on the ground. Is he going to pick it up?

My spirit is broken. The title is a misnomer. I already know the answer. It’s no.

It’s not like he doesn’t know it’s there. Move-in day—54 days, 6 hours, and 23 minutes ago. The grape—green—was jostled from its Red Mango cup by his dad—Clyde (7/10 face, 9/10 body)—while he was struggling with some boxes.

Roommate remarked (and I quote), “Oops! Better pick it up before we’ve got a raisin on the floor!”

Crazy, I didn’t know Comedic Timing 155 was a required course for Bio majors. I also didn’t know that Covid restrictions have finally let up enough for Edens to let liars into the building.

I hate it here. HRL hasn’t responded to a single email, and I’ve been kicked out of the Edens GroupMe.

I’ve heard grapes don’t grow in Rhode Island. And transfer apps are still open till next week.

Brown ’24 baby!!



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