DURHAM, N.C.—Due to the prevailing stereotype that Duke students are smug, haughty, upper-class young people, many students have gone to extremes to eschew any appearances of being “holier than thou.” Almost all students have denied calling the police on people standing around the Whole Foods parking lot—a clear demonstration of their humility and commitment to the Durham community.
However, one student, Harry Wilkinson (T ‘26), reportedly has no issue with contributing to this unfair image of Duke students. In a conversation overheard in WU last week, Wilkinson bragged about finishing a whole printed book, which he allegedly read from the very first page to the very last.
To the disgust of onlookers, Wilkinson claimed to have read The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa, saying he “enjoyed the complex deliberations on humanity and loneliness very much.” Wilkinson emphasized that he reads for pleasure outside of class, implying that he actually picked up and read a physical book for no utilitarian reason, like some sort of snooty patrician looking down on us peasants.
“I’m really shocked by Harry’s behavior,” said friend Vivian Wang (T ‘27.) “I thought it was understood among Duke students that all reading should be done in the confines of classes that assign 1/20th of a full text at most. This is just over the top.”
Classmate David Forrester (T '26) also expressed doubts about Wilkinson’s actions. “I think he just wants to feel better than us,” he said. “There’s no way he just sat down and read that whole thing. Unless he has a weird fetish for reading, I guess.”
Wilkinson had this to say about those who criticized his hobby:
Editor’s note: The last portion of the article has been removed so as to not burden our readers with excessive reading.
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