DURHAM, NC—It’s getting steamy! 57-year-old history professor Matthew Johnson accidentally assigned himself to a breakout room with the only TA, and the sexual tension is palpable.
Johnson must feel his marriage vows unravelling by the second. He knows his willpower is no match for grad student Lily Tomkins. “Ah, looks like the technology’s gotten out of hand again… can you hear me?” Johnson muttered, to which Tomkins nodded without looking up from her phone. Our staff imagines Johnson placing his head in his hands––how is he going to tell his kids about this?
However, student after student began to reappear back on his screen. Luckily for Johnson and Tomkins, their heavy breathing can finally return to normal.
Though Johnson was still a bit worried about the whole fiasco, his fellow professor and drinking buddy Chris Roy has assured him that it’s no big deal--it’s not like Lily was that hot anyways.