Study: 90% of pfrosh-founded nonprofits implode 2 weeks after Duke acceptance


DURHAM, NC—What happens to the numerous high school student-run non-profits after they matriculate? It turns out that most such organizations started by the class of 2024 faltered almost immediately after acceptance as their founders turned their attention from public health interventions to drinking dangerous amounts of Burnett’s vodka. This stunning result is thanks to a new Duke study run by students looking to pad their resumes for law school.


All the non-profits studied were founded after advising appointments with private college consultants, funded entirely by parents' donations, and legitimized by well-photographed trips to communities of color. The study also found that many of these pfrosh founders tended to put the two African proverbs they learned during their service work on their Duke essays.


In one case study, an NGO founded by Amadea Bock T‘24 that aimed to empower Angolan girls by teaching them how to make origami suddenly ceased operations. Its funding from Bock’s father cut off once she received her coveted acceptance letter from Duke last month. The remaining funds were instead used to sponsor a graduation trip for the family to go to the Amalfi Coast.


The study will continue to follow these young ambitious change-makers for the next few years. Many will inevitably become economics majors before dropping out to be public policy majors and one day touting their “international work experiences” to get jobs with oil companies which, ironically, plan to submerge the Amalfi coast by 2032 so that they won’t have to share it with the Angolan girls who grow up to be adults.