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The Fluke's top 5 tips to avoid being mistaken for a predator as you "study" at Wilson Gym

DURHAM, NC–We’ve all been there. Our laptops sitting on a comically small table, loud groans drenching our ears from every possible direction, and the faint sound of a basketball clapping the floor at irregular intervals. At this moment, a student-athlete is walking towards us, wiping the sweat off their hair after a strenuous workout. They make eye contact, and we smile into our açai bowl.


Here are 5 ways to not look suspicious when you’re scouting Duke’s fittest and strongest to join your bedroom wrestling team.


Tip #1: Make it look like you were working out, too. Wear some athleisure, drench your hair under a faucet, and have a duffel bag by your feet.


Tip #2: Go to the weight room water fountain every 10-15 minutes. This is a great spot for meeting new people and starting casual conversations about fitness. You probably don’t know what this means, but if anyone asks what you’re “hitting” today, just say legs.


Tip #3: Consider a work-study position at the front desk. You’re literally getting paid to stare at people, and all you have to do is say “tap here” and click a big red button. You probably can’t do homework at the same time, but it’s not like you were doing that before, anyways.


Tip #4 (for the real freaks): Facetime your laptop from your phone, then dim your laptop’s brightness and stare at your phone. Now, you can closely inspect passersby without having to look up at them. Bet you like that one, psycho!


Tip #5: When you’re talking to a gym rat, be yourself – just not your authentic self. Be a less creepy, more normal version of who you really are. You got this!




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