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The Short List: Here’s what’s not going on this week

DURHAM, NC—Sources are reporting that there is not likely to be a solar eclipse this week.

The election is 56 weeks away, which also means it’s not happening now.

I’m not getting lunch with Ethan, despite our several days of careful planning.

Hong Kong is still not receiving basic human rights.

Ethan and I haven’t caught up in a very long time, and that still won’t be happening this week.

Seems like there aren’t any fun new Christopher Nolan movies coming out anytime soon.

Self driving cars: Guess what? They aren’t going to replace human drivers this week.

Ethan remains just as incapable of maintaining a friendship as he was this time last week.

Saturday Night Live won’t have more than one funny sketch.

Ethan won’t have any sex.

No meaningful progress is likely to be made on cancer research. In other news, people also won’t stop donating to cancer research.

Ethan will be no less than a week closer to his own inexorable death, and he won’t have done anything worth remembering in that time period.

Things happen. It’s the way of the world. And those things sometimes catch too much of our attention. With all these things happening, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s not happening.



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